Barbara Emrys

Change and Discovery

Lately, our group conversations have been about setting personal boundaries. So, let’s go over some of what we discussed. Setting a boundary is making a simple statement about what we can and cannot do, and what we are willing or unwilling to tolerate. Boundaries are meant to demonstrate our self-respect. That’s it.

Keep in mind, however, that our need for boundaries changes as we change. We are ever-changing organisms, even if we cling to a self-image that seems frozen in time. As we evolve, we should be realistic. We should be honest about the shifts in our personal needs and clarify them– to ourselves, first of all. Then we can respectfully communicate those needs to others. It’s important to do this before they grow into unmanageable resentments. Once again, it’s vital that we stay awake and aware.

We all want to accommodate people, but it’s not always possible– and rather than admitting it, we continue to make promises we cannot keep. We want to please, so we present a version of ourselves we can’t live up to. We’re changing all the time. Circumstances also change. Tolerances change. By denying those things, we build grievances. By imagining ourselves as the person we used to be, we go against ourselves– and end up disappointing the ones we love.

Our gifted minds create a world made out of thoughts and ideas. We ask the body to walk through that world. As we age, we expect it to live happily within the confines of an old story and to adapt to demands that are increasingly unrealistic. It’s not that much harder to shift our attention to what is real– not what we assume to be real or hope is real.

Your human body is real, and it needs an ally. It needs a mind willing to protect its health and well-being. Your body needs a mind that isn’t in constant denial. It needs a mind that keeps up with internal and external changes. At the very least, it needs a story that reflects conditions as they are right now.

Imagine wanting nothing more than what exists in this moment. Imagine seeing yourself as you are and being content with what you see. Don’t stop there: today, now, love the realness of you. Love your quiet upheavals and dynamic changes. Love the way life is burning through you, and meet its force with enthusiasm.

Life is taking you back to the infinite. It doesn’t matter how old or how young you are, you’re transforming according to life’s will. Life is also guiding you toward new levels of perception. Allow every revelation to encourage more revelation. Your inconsistencies can teach you. Your occasional missteps can be used to build awareness. Forgive your blunders, and learn from them.

Everything is change. The planet that feeds you is relentlessly transmuting, and so are you. See the reality of that, and be an accomplice to the process. Stay excited. Stay curious about the shifts within you, however odd they may seem. The alternative is bitterness and self-loathing in the face of change, which sounds stupid and looks ugly. We’ve all tried that, and now it’s time to get with the program– life’s program.

It’s time to make intriguing adjustments to your dream. It may be time to set boundaries– kindly and respectfully. It may be time to eliminate boundaries altogether. Either way, listen to life’s changing mandate, and adapt. Devise a happy resolution to every setback. Turn crushing disappointment into comprehension. Turn grumpiness into gratitude. Turn stubborn blindness into wide-eyed wonder.

Try new things. Experiment and discover. There’s still time.

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